


The Price of Your Smile

by Greenerin



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 07:38:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10737132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenerin/pseuds/Greenerin
Summary: [A REALLY OLD STORY FROM MY FF.NET ACCOUNT. Originally published at 8/19/2010]Remi X Sakuya, Romance. Angsty, but only slightly. Remilia's POV.Remilia hurts Sakuya during danmaku battle. While Sakuya's recovering, she's trying to comprehend what her maid really means to her.





	1. Chapter 1

Sakuya never smiles to anyone. Her unexceptionally considerate face, her thoughtfulness, her calmness in the extreme situations, her attentive eyes when she listens to my orders – these are the only emotions she shows to the inhabitants of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Surely, there is always a polite smile on her face, which a servant should have for their master – but that's not all I want to see from our Sakuya. Nevertheless, her lips never curve into a sincere contented smile. She is like a closed vessel.

It's been six months since I took this – oh, what a joke! – vampire hunter as a maid.

Her possibilities make me curious. She captivates me. How can it be that a human possesses such power? Even though it's only the Lunar Clock which allows her to manipulate time, it seems to be much more useful in her hands than in someone else's. And the way she throws her dazzling countless knives is also quite.. unique. The greatness of her skills can be compared with my own abilities. It's interesting but somehow sad. Something in this thought makes me nervous, though I can't understand exactly what it is. Something inside me always wants to find out the limits of her power.

And one night I call her out of the mansion.

"Well, Sakuya! Let's play danmaku," I say. Her deep blue eyes widen for a moment, I see she's curious. Nevertheless, she answers immediately: "As you wish, Lady Remilia."

Before we begin, she utters doubtfully: "My Lady.. I guess it won't happen, but.. I'll truly regret if you're hurt because of me somehow."

I snicker. "There's nothing to be scared of, my dear maid. Let's play our game."

We fly up high above the mansion. Our fight begins. She's quick, but I'm quicker. She's powerful, but I'm more powerful. She's talented, but I'm a half-a-century-aged vampire after all. So I avoid all of her attacks though it's not always that easy.

But I also can't win.

When she was a vampire hunter who came to take my life, she was weakened and mentally broken. I gave her home and the will to live – and she's been gaining power. The new life. The new name. All of this turned her into the person who she is now.

I'm more than glad for her, but at the same time I feel something strange inside me. Somehow I'm angry, I'm furious. There aren't many creatures in this world that I can't beat in danmaku. What the hell is that I can't win against my own maid now? With this thought my composure breaks down completely. I flick out one of my strongest spell cards and throw the Gugnir into Sakuya's shape. At this moment Sakuya happens to be only several meters away from me. The last thing I see before my spear reaches the goal are her wide open blue eyes filled with dread, and her Luna Dial which she tries to use but not makes it in time because of my closeness to her. She cries in pain and after that red smoke appears around her through which I can't see a thing. At this moment I finally come back to reality and understand _what_ I've done and _with whom_. If the smoke appeared, then it means that my spell has reached Sakuya. And if Gugnir reached Sakuya, then.. DAMN IT!

I turn my gaze down immediately and notice the falling body shape. I don't have even a second to think what to do. I just fly down there as quick as lightning, praying to make it in time. I'm so fast that my wings hurt, and I catch her body only several meters from the ground. I hold the unconscious girl desperately, looking in dread at what I've done. The flesh on her left hand and half of her chest is seriously burnt. I can see the blood flooding down from her wounds and various scratches on her face. She's smashed with a blow of enormous power, so her ribs are definitely broken in couple of places. Oh no.. It was me, who ruined this fragile and delicate body. Me, her master. It was me who couldn't restrain myself. I can't believe I foredoomed myself to the existence without this elegant, devoted, beautiful maid whom I've known for several months only, but who somehow brought so much harmony and peace to the chaotic life of the Mansion.

"Hey, Sakuya. Sakuya! You'd better be alive, you know! Please, be alive.. Sakuya Izayoi, the Chief Maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, this is an order from your mistress!" I don't even realize I'm screaming it out loud. I touch her pulse dreading to know the answer.

Thanks all the gods of Gensokyo.. She's breathing slightly and irregularly – nobody will ever know how relieved I am to find it out. And then she suddenly half opens her eyes and whispers, panting on every word: "You.. caught me.. my Lady.. Thank you. Please, don't be s.. so frustrated.. I'm fine.."

After that her head falls down to my chest weakly, and she passes out clutching Lunar Clock with her blooded fingers.

I feel something hot on my cheek. A drop of clear liquid falls down from it to Sakuya's face, making the path between the traces of smoke-black and blood on it, and I understand it's a tear.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been a week since that accident. Thanks to Patchouli's magic and to Meiling's medicine recipe inherited from her ancestors Sakuya is getting better slowly. Everything in the house suddenly turns disorderly without her. Flandre is complaining that she isn't glad to eat the meal which was not cooked by "our sweet maid", she's sulking and staying in her basement. The gatekeeper is worried and gloomy and doesn't even fall asleep at her post, as this goofy youkai usually does. Even Patchi doesn't spend much time in her library and stays by Sakuya's side a lot. The latter is asleep most of the time – it's a side effect of Meiling's herbal tea which heals the inside wounds.

And me, Remilia Scarlet.. I'm nervous and angry with myself.

Nobody in the Mansion would ever dare to blame me, but I'm acting harshly as if they do. Even though I know well it would only be fair. I lost control and it led to such situation only because of my unneeded rage. "Flan and me, we are really similar after all," I contemplate bitterly. Her insanity switched to me that time – only for a moment, but that was enough for putting Sakuya's life on the line.

I don't visit her room, unlike other family members. Family.. Since when do I call such a word these five creatures that are by my side? My joyful, curious, sweet and oh, so dangerous sister, whose power I have to control or else she'll ruin the whole world; the wise and silent enchantress, who's been my dear friend for ages, with her cute familiar-devil, Koakuma; even this penny-plain red-haired China, who mostly looks at the world with her friendly green eyes instead of defending our mansion from the intruders.. And she's also a part of my family – this calm and always cold-hearted silver-haired maid who always performs the orders without doubts, who's my most loyal servant, who made an impossible thing in such a little time – she brought all of the others to trust her.. And to like her. Including me.

"No. Especially me," something in my head whispers, but I brush off such a shady thought.

As I told earlier, I don't visit her room with the others. I'm too ashamed and my dignity doesn't allow me to admit it. I'm scared to watch that body which looks already much better than it was that night, but still has the traces of those wounds which I caused to her. I'm afraid to find pain in her eyes when she's not asleep. But when she's unconscious, I go to see her every day when nobody can catch a sight of me. While the whole family is asleep, I stay by her side regularly looking at the pale face, watching the tremble of her eyelashes, listening to her breath, smooth and calm already. Sometimes I sit nearby for so long that I even dream in front of her bed for a couple of times, but I always wake up duly to go away before she opens her eyes or someone else finds me.

Through all this period I avoid contact with everyone except for discussing the household activity. But one day when it's already time to fall asleep, I find Patchouli sitting in my bedroom and reading one of her books.

"Hey, Remi," she says calmly. "How long are you going to avoid us? I understand very well that you are worrying about Sakuya, but please don't push yourself so heavily. She's turning back to normal after all."

The magician's completely right, but 'cause I am quite a proud and presumptuous vampire, something in me declines to acknowledge that I behave in such way because of this situation.

"What are you talking about, Patchi? I'm not that worried because of the head maid. It's just – emn – a little messy here without her.. I.. just think about how to deal with Flandre, she becomes disobedient again."

"Oh really?" her scoffing eyes follow me as I turn my face away from hers. "Only about it? And nothing more?"

I'm embarrassed a lot and turn angry because of that.

"Exactly! Why the hell do you think I'm nervous because of the maid? She's my property after all! There's nothing I couldn't do with her and nothing to feel sorry for."

"That's not true. Property, you say? No way. Even if a person is your servant, even though you can do anything with their body or decide their life course sometimes, it doesn't mean you possess them. It becomes real only when these people divide with you their soul willingly and wholeheartedly – and only when you yourself truly wish to divide with them your own life and fate. Only this is something which could be called the real bond, which is worth for. Are you really that sure you own this girl?"

"Now.. Now I truly don't know", I think while staying stunned by Patchi's words. I've thought of it in such way quite rarely – to tell the truth, I hardly ever thought that much about the relationships with people before, but mostly about material things, power and privileges instead. And now, with my friend's words I begin to realize that something in this world can be approved not only from the position of domination and power. Only now, huh? Or it began earlier, I wonder? Maybe, the day when the particular silver-haired young woman appeared in the Mansion?..

Suddenly I feel Patchouli's hand on my shoulder.

"Sorry. I know you feel different than what you say, my friend. I've been watching you for too many years to be wrong about it. But please don't be so worried and stop hurting yourself at last. Yes, you used too much power that time – but this girl could never hate you for your mistake. I can read it in her eyes. So just support her the way you can."

With these words the magician is going to leave my room. I'm staying quiet, but when she is already near the door, I start speaking in a hoarse voice suddenly for myself:

"You know, Patchi.. When I held her body up there.. I suddenly felt how fragile, how light it actually was. How easy it's.. to offend her. It kinda reminded me the kitten Flan had found in the garden last year. Do you remember?"

She stops and turns to me. "I certainly do. That was a stray little cat with red fur, dirty and hungry, rather good-looking though. Your sister was so glad when it appeared by her side.. She cleaned it and put the ribbon on its neck, and fed it properly, and.." Patchi puts a sidelong glance to me, "Flandre even gave it the nickname. I suppose, she thought this creature would save her from loneliness, and she was happy because of that." The enchantress sighs, being quiet for a while, and then continues. I listen attentively. "Well.. The thing is, it really could. But one day when your sister was playing with the kitten, this animal put out its claws jokingly and somehow hurt her hand a bit. And Flandre who didn't know that it's a normal thing for a little thoughtless animal turned into her insane mode and killed it."

I'm turning pale while listening, being fully aware of my friend's association. Patchouli comes closer again and hugs me. "I only don't want you to repeat her mistake, Remilia. I'd give everything for you not to be miserable. People.. They are weak, pitifully. But their short lifetime, their almost invisible power is sometimes enough for them to make everything around them sparkling and bright. And as well as you can change Fates, Remi, so such rarely found people like Sakuya can also change your life. You should take care of them, wrap them with your warmth instead of checking their power limit. Because.. It's much closer than you can imagine, even if the person seems to be very strong."

Deep inside you know it yourself. I feel you've already been changing because of this girl in the last months, see? You've never cared for anyone so much before. And it's a big joy for me you like her that much.

Like.. Huh? So do I really like her that way? Me, the sublime and powerful vampire, to like a human being? Is this even possible? "It is," my consciousness says, "it exactly is."

I'm stunned.

So.. That's why I've been thinking of her so much lately.. And that's why it hurts so much to know what I've done. With Patchi's words I finally realize why exactly I was interested in her power so madly. The truth is that I was really afraid of losing Sakuya, so I tried to check by myself how strong she is for being able to defend her later from anything she couldn't fight. And with that it was me whose attack she couldn't bear..

I have so much to say. And I can utter nothing. I'm too overwhelmed with emotions boiling in my immortal body. So I just embrace back the enchantress and whisper:

"Thank you."

Patchi smiles warmly and pats my head. She's the only one whom I can excuse for such familiarity instead of tearing her to pieces immediately.

"She'll be fine, Remi. We'll fix her up.. I promise."

Standing at the doorway already, she adds: "And oh, well.. You forgot your hat in Sakuya's room. I put in on your bed."

Ah, damn! How could I be so careless? When my face turns red with embarrassment Patchi winks to me (really, I couldn't imagine such a gesture from her!) and shuts the door behind her back.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been eight days after our talk. Since that moment I visited Sakuya only three times, not willing to provoke the situation when I could be caught at such action. Nevertheless, I see she's much better already, and finally Patchi tells me that the Chief Maid can take up her duties the next day.

This night I can't sleep well – why is that, I wonder? Anyway, I wake up earlier than I always do and feel there is no reason to try to fall asleep again. So I put on my dress carefully and leave the room. And – let's call that a coincidence – It seems, I'm quite on schedule to the moment when Sakuya should exit her room either, first time after her long-lasted painful condition.

Suddenly, I can hear the voice from afar. It's _her_ voice – I freeze on the spot hearing that sound which I've been awfully missing all these days.

It seems that Meiling and Patchi are the ones who accompany Sakuya on her way.

I get down the stairs leading to the first floor and slow my pace, observing the above-mentioned people walking across the corridor. I hear their cheerful talk and notice China who's beaming and grinning widely. Even Patchouli is smiling – that's quite a rare sight.

But all I can see right now is Sakuya. Thin and fragile after her illness, she still has her usual composure and firmness – the moment I see her I immediately feel she's really back to me.. err.. to us, I mean.

They finally notice my presence and stop in front of the stairs where I'm staying. I watch Sakuya – only her. She is clearly going to greet me, but I get ahead of her before she even opens her mouth, and say with a significant smile:

"Good morning, Sakuya. I'm glad you're back to normal finally."

"Thanks, my Lady,"  she answers becking respectfully. "Excuse me for causing all the troubles.. Right now I'm completely ready to return to my duties. What do you wish for breakfast?"

I make my way down the few remaining stairs and come around the maid. Then I say looking straight into her bright eyes: "Good for you, Sakuya. But breakfast can wait. As I recall, we haven't finished our game yet, have we?"

The complete silence overwhelms the hall abruptly. Ha-ha, it seems I really shocked all of them.. I hear Meiling's voice:

"Wha?.. La..lady Remilia! Are you crazy?!"

I should have punished her right after hearing such an impudent phrase from the gatekeeper's lips, but this time I just ignore her, staring only at the lovely face before me. Meanwhile I can hear Patchi replying to China: "Hush.. Calm down, Meiling. Remi always knows what to do." though her voice seems rather doubtful this time.

As for Sakuya, the only one in this room whose reaction means something for me now, she turns deadly pale looking at me with widened eyes.

But this girl's the most proper maid in the world, so she answers straightaway: "Yes, my Lady."

We go out of the house, finally leaving everyone else behind. It's morning for the Mansion inhabitants because of our day regimen, though it's already evening in Gensokyo. The sun is going down the horizon, and its glance can't hurt me.

We fly up in the air and start our danmaku battle again. Sakuya's movements are as graceful and proper as always, but I can feel her growing uncertainty this time. I don't know if it is because she's still weak or 'cause she notices I'm just evading and don't answer her strikes at all.

But I don't ever want to see doubt in her eyes. So I fly closer to her, saying: "Use your most powerful spell cards."

She is surprised and even frightened: "B–but.."

"There are no buts. It's an order." and I fly away again, knowing she won't disobey.

At first Sakuya keeps fighting with her common spells. But soon I see her nipping out the card, crying out: "Phantasmic Killer"!

I know this spell. The thirty-four sharp knives are now flying from Sakuya's side right into my direction.

That's exactly what I wanted.

I pretend to dodge Sakuya's strike, but at the last second I return to the place I was earlier and freeze on the spot, seeing the knives approaching me. Next thing I feel is an unending series of sharp blows and the perception of unmercifully violent pain stabbing my whole body. It's an awful sensation even for the vampire – this pain is just unbearable, it seems the cold steel is tearing me apart. but I have to endure it – as a payment for everything I did to Sakuya earlier. I manage to see the fountains of blood coming out from my body, and then, completely immobilized, I'm falling somewhere down hearing Sakuya's agonized shriek. The last thing I understand is that she uses her Luna Dial and catches me.

When I'm able to open my eyes, I see Sakuya who's holding me and watching my face with woeful gaze. "Quite like the last time, we just switched positions," floats in my mind.

She's tenderly stroking my bloodstained body with her hand unconsciously, holding me with the other. The knives aren't in my flesh anymore, and the blood is stopping fast. The deep ragged wounds will heal in several days – vampires regenerate quickly. Though right now I feel horrible physically.. Gah. But somehow what I feel in my heart is calmness. What happened at our previous fighting still troubles my mind, but I feel better. Much better.

I brush off all the thoughts and look into the beautiful eyes of a woman above me. She's clearly worried to death. I need to calm her down.

I smile to her, feeling the trace of blood coming out of my mouth.

Sakuya nearly whispers fighting back her tears: "Why?.. Why did you let me hurt you?"

Oh, Sakuya. I'm your lord, right? I can't confess bluntly that I wanted to share the pain I brought you. That I wanted to gain the right to be your mistress once more. That I finally know what I feel for you. That I'll never leave you and never let you leave me. That I'll never make you suffer again. That I'll give you all of myself.

But I answer, stretching my hand and touching her cheek lightly: "Well.. Maybe that was an excuse for me – I wanted you to hold me in your arms."

She doesn't know if she should cry or laugh. And then, still uneasily, Sakuya smiles suddenly. And now this is a real sincere smile, soft and relieved. It is so beautiful I somehow can't take my eyes off her.

And after that my silver-haired maid squeezes her head up against my body abruptly: "My Lady.. Don't ever do that again. I love you too much to lose you.. I'd better kill myself than watch you in pain."

Her body pressing against my recent wounds brings me ache. But I don't notice it. All I feel is bliss.

I just don't know the words to describe my feelings for her right at this moment. Not here. Not now. Later.

But from the tenderness in her eyes, from the sense of her warm and strong embrace, from her unending loyalty I know that inside her heart she understands all of my unspoken words. So I lift her chin with my fingers and kiss her – greedily and hungrily, as intended for the vampire, but also softly and affectionately – like only lovers could do that to those they adore.

When our mouths part, we look at each other panting. She embraces me happily and suddenly says: "Thank you for visiting me so often, while I was ill.."

"Ahh? H-how did you.."

"Your scent. I felt its presence regularly, my Lady. It's inexplicably sweet.."

Unable to hide my embarrassment, I chuckle shyly and once again capture her lips.

Sakuya never smiles to anyone..

except her family, who loves her dearly. Including me, Remilia Scarlet, the one who'd give anything for this sight.

_The end_


End file.
